Monday, August 24, 2009

Mission Statements


This guide is being developed in conjunction with the anti-tourism board of the great state of New Jersey, in association with Bon Jovi/Springstein enthusiasts, people who call it the beach and not the shore, true blue Giants fans, and Thomas Edison.

While being developed for the use of New Jerseyans, it should be noted that Pennsylvanians, D.C.anites, and yes, even you Marylanders can utilize this guide without harm, but prepare to feel a strong urge to leave your lesser states and "move on up" to the Garden State.

While we would strongly urge the practice of traveling abstinence in regards to Delaware, we understand the urges that pubescent travelers may feel to explore each others states. If you must travel to (hopefully through) Delaware, we strongly urge caution and preparedness. That's where we come in. We hope to educate New Jerseyans (and other, lesser states) in the customs, traditions, and lowlights of this cultural wasteland of a state.

The First State uses many tricks and magical wizardry to lure travelers with the promise of tax free shopping, lovely beaches, and misleading detour signs that cause travelers to abandon all hope of finding their destination and transforming would-be tourists into begrudging citizens.

We leave you with the words of a great man, Mr. Brian Murphy, on the topic of tax free shopping:
The only good thing about Delaware is there's no sales tax on the rope you buy to hang yourself.

The only safe Delaware traveling is abstinence.